lost

ever lost something that you know you saw just a minute ago? or a day ago? you know exactly where you put it, left it, whatever, wherever.

i've just done that.

and its not that its a huge deal, its just that it was where i left it just yesterday. and now its not there. its not something expensive, or even important to anyone but me. but nonetheless, its not where i *know* it was yesterday.

i know i'm disorganized. i can use something on my desk, and can't find it not even 2 seconds after i put it down. and then find it an hour later after frantically looking for it and its right there in front of me where i put it down in the first place. sometimes i think i'm really going nuts.

usually its not a big deal, i eventually find where i've left something. i'm not the type of person who throws things away haphazardly, you can tell by the inside of my van looks. and my desk.

example: i found a bank statement in my van today from 2 years ago. is it pertinant now? no. but it could have been 2 years ago, when i stashed it away in my "organizer" between the seats. so its pitched now, into the recycle bin.

so why would i find that bank statement today? because i was hunting for what i was missing. and that missing item i left paperclipped to another bit on my seat (aka my vehicular office). and i need it. and now its not there.

my van is slightly tidier for all of that. i threw out all the misc papers and junk, all the empty water bottles are in the bin to go to the bottle depot, found a couple of lipsticks under the seat that i've been looking for, put my winter coat and scarf into the closet in the house where they belong, ditched my stepstool that i use for work sometimes in the back (since its been lounging on my backseat for the last month or so), but still didn't find the itty bitty laminated card i'm looking for. i'm thinking maybe its stuck between the seat and the back (that thought just occurred to me as i'm typing this).

i never quite know how my van gets to be in the state its in. but i suppose because most weeks i'm in it for up to 5 hours, depending on my drive for the day, things just accumulate. like travel mugs. why don't i bring them in that day? most likely because i'm schlepping other junk in the house and don't have enough hands. garbage? it seems like when i have garbage to throw out, there isn't a bin handy. and alot of the stuff that ends up in my van can be recycled. like the 2 inches of training manuals i threw out today from like 4 years ago. again, something that really shouldn't have been in there in the first place, but i hadn't taken out before hand.

so anyways, i now have something important missing in action. i've only had it for just over a week, so it hasn't been used (although i should have already).

what is this tidbit?

my medical insurance card. and i need it to change our prescriptions over.

crumb.

maybe its between the seat. one can only hope!